top of page

Revealed: The Astonishing Truth Behind Our Need to Criticize, Judge, and Blame Others

Have you ever considered that what annoys you about others might reveal more about yourself than them? Welcome to the concept of projection, a psychological defense mechanism where individuals attribute their unwanted feelings onto others. We often encounter projection in our journey of transformation and personal growth. Let's explore this phenomenon, shall we?


There are different ways to manage and handle our emotions. According to David Hawkins, the most common are 1. Suppression and repression, 2. Expression, and 3. Escape. Suppression and repression are a way to push feelings down and put them aside, in repression it happens unconsciously and in suppression, it’s consciously. Expression is, as the name says, a way to express our feelings through venting or verbalizing. Escape is avoiding our feelings through some sort of diversion (usually entertainment and substances).


Today we will be focusing on projection which is a form of repression, which happens when we feel guilt or fear of having certain feelings. Thus repression acts like an emotional prison, locking away feelings. When we cannot confront our emotions, they are forced into the shadowy corners of our mind, influencing our behavior unknowingly.

Projection is our psyche’s master illusionist, convincing us that our internal turmoil is, in fact, an external problem. This sleight of hand keeps us from looking inward and addressing the real issues.

 Isn't it easier to criticize others than to introspect? When we find fault in others, we're often facing our mirror image, reflecting our insecurities and suppressed feelings. When we're overwhelmed by feelings we can't process, our psyche performs a sleight of hand, directing our attention outward. We become convinced that the source of our frustration or sadness is external. This redirection can lead to statements like "You're making me angry!" or "They're the reason I'm unhappy," when in reality, these emotions were internal long before they found a supposed cause outside of us.


Have you ever found yourself irritated by a colleague's habit, a friend's comment, or a partner's action? It's natural to perceive these as annoyances coming from them, but often, they act as mirrors, reflecting parts of ourselves we're not ready to confront. This is projection at play in the mundane moments of life.


When projection becomes a habit, it can lead to conflict, broken relationships, and even societal issues. By blaming the world for our inner turmoil, we create a cycle of misunderstanding and aggression.


The ramifications of unchecked projection are far-reaching. It skews our perception of reality, erecting walls where bridges should be. In the social realm, it can manifest as prejudice or blame-shifting, leading to conflicts and even warfare. On a personal level, it hinders our growth and can sabotage relationships.

Our self-esteem often hangs in the balance of our projections. We strive to maintain a self-image that's free of flaws or vulnerabilities. Projection acts as a psychological defense, a way to protect that image by assigning our least desirable traits to others.

 Ever heard the saying, "If you spot it, you got it"? Recognizing our projections can be the first step to reclaiming the disowned parts of ourselves and finding wholeness.


It's all too easy to cast someone as the villain in the story of our lives. But could it be that they're just playing a role we've written for them, based on our repressed emotions?

It's a tough pill to swallow, recognizing that our judgments of others may be reflections of ourselves. Yet, it's also empowering. By identifying these projections, we unlock opportunities for growth and self-improvement. The process starts with a simple but profound question: "Is this truly about them, or is it about me?"


The dance of relationships is complex, with projection often leading the choreography. It shapes our narratives about others, influencing how we interact, respond, and feel about them. The key to healthier relationships is recognizing when we are projecting and opting for open communication instead.

The path to overcoming projection begins with awareness. Like turning on a light in a dark room, awareness allows us to see the projections for what they are—shadows of our inner world. Mindfulness practices, journaling, therapy, and honest self-reflection are all tools that can assist us in dismantling the habit of projection. Moreover, we can challenge our assumptions, ask ourselves tough questions, and strive to understand the origin of our emotions.

 Engaging in empathy, both for ourselves and others, helps us to acknowledge our feelings without judgment and to consider the experiences of those around us without bias. It’s about shifting the narrative from blame to shared human experience.


It's not all doom and gloom; projection can have a positive side. When we admire qualities in others, we are often recognizing our values and potential. This type of positive projection can inspire us to cultivate these attributes within ourselves and support others in doing the same.


Understanding and addressing projection is not about reaching a state of perfection. It’s about striving for authenticity and connection. It’s about growing into a person who can face their own emotions with courage and extend understanding and compassion to others.


As we shed the habit of projection, we discover a world where our relationships are not hindered by the shadows of our past but are illuminated by the true light of our present awareness. Let's walk this path of personal growth together, shall we?


In our quest to understand ourselves and the world around us, acknowledging and working through projection can be a profoundly transformative process. It's a journey worth taking, full of challenges and rewards, leading to a more authentic and connected life.

Until then 🫶🏻, keep on being mindful. See you next time.





No te pierdas ningún artículo, suscríbete...

¡Gracias por suscribirte! Estoy segura que te vas a divertir...

bottom of page