Lately, as I’ve been working on Hijos del Caos, I’ve found myself reconnecting with my past—the one I tried so hard to bury under layers of success, busyness, and well-rehearsed smiles. But life has a peculiar way of bringing us back to our roots when we least expect it, and in my journey of healing, I’ve come face to face with the little girl I once was. The girl who grew up in a home marked by alcoholism, where silence and shouting were equally deafening.
And there she was—vulnerable, terrified, frozen. Because what else can a child living in survival mode do? There’s no room for choice. Only three responses are available: fight, flight, or freeze. But when fighting or fleeing aren’t viable options, the only refuge left is within ourselves: to freeze and escape inward.
That’s what children from dysfunctional homes do. We build internal worlds to survive—worlds filled with shadows, distortions, and chaos. And though these strategies saved us as children, we drag them into adulthood as if they were war relics, forgetting that the battlefield is long gone. We keep fighting ghosts from the past, responding to a missed glance, an empty water faucet, or a dead car battery as if the world were collapsing.
It’s not the adult who responds. It’s the wounded child who reacts. And when that child takes the wheel, what could have been an ordinary day becomes a Greek tragedy. Because unresolved pain is like fire—if it isn’t contained, it burns everything in its path.
But here’s the truth that changed my life: that chaos doesn’t disappear magically, with sheer willpower or good intentions. It takes work. It takes courage. It takes patience. And above all, it takes compassion—to look in the mirror and see not a victim, but a warrior.
And here’s the question that changed everything: how do I stop surviving and start truly living?
The answer is simpler than I imagined. I needed an anchor. A reminder. Something to pull me back to the present, to take me out of the whirlwind of the past and bring me back to the now.
My anchor came from Dr. Edith Eva Eger, a Holocaust survivor and author of The Choice. Her life, her story, and her words showed me that while we cannot choose what happens to us, we can always choose our attitude toward it.
Since then, I’ve made a promise to myself: no matter what happens, my attitude will be my life. This is my anchor, the mantra I repeat every day to remind myself that I have the power to live fully and not merely survive.
MY ATTITUDE
I promise myself:
TO BE so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
TO TALK health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
TO MAKE all my friends feel that there is something special in them.
TO LOOK at the bright side of everything and make my optimism come true.
TO THINK only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
TO BE just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
TO FORGET the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
TO WEAR a cheerful countenance at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
TO GIVE so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
TO KNOW that nothing is personal, understanding that others’ actions reflect their own stories, not my worth.
TO BE too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
My attitude… is my life.
Each line of this manifesto is like a lighthouse, illuminating the path even on the darkest days. It doesn’t mean the pain disappears, but it reminds me that I don’t have to carry it alone. It reminds me that my past doesn’t define me, that my wounds can heal, and that by consciously choosing my attitude, I become the creator of my reality.
So here I am, writing these words in the hope that if you feel overwhelmed by the chaos of life, you’ll find in this anchor a lifeline. Because even if you don’t believe it yet, you have within you the strength to let go, heal, and start again.
Chaos may have been our roots, but healing gives us wings. What do you choose today?
With love and until next time.
PS. please share if you think someone you know can benefit from this manifiesto.
Read this article in Spanish here.
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