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The Fine Art of Not Poking My Nose Where It Does Belong:

Embracing Self-Awareness and Personal Growth .



In the grand symphony of existence, one of the most delicate notes we must play is the art of recognizing boundaries and respecting everyone’s privacy, including our own. It's akin to holding a precious vase, knowing that a single misstep could shatter the trust and connection we share with our loved ones. As I journeyed through life, I learned the hard way that unnecessary meddling can leave behind cracks in the once-smooth surface of our relationships.


As I ride through my self-healing journey, I at some point come to crossroads of having to analyze the dynamics of my life with my immediate family members and in such rides I find myself drawn to a recurring theme that has the way we interact with each other-poking our noses where they do belong.


Growing up, I witnessed a curious habit in my family-a tendency to overshare information that wasn't always meant for my ears. My parents, in the name of trust and closeness, unwittingly laid the foundation for a habit that would later prove detrimental to my own peace of mind.


It seemed as though I had a vested interest in everyone's affairs, and I often found myself entangled in the web of unnecessary involvement. However, with newfound awareness, I am now learning the value of refraining from meddling and poking, even when it is related to things that I do mind. This shift has profoundly reshaped the way I interact with people in all my relationships.


Picture it as a delicate dance, where each family member shares fragments of their lives, sowing seeds of tangled emotions and information. My mother would tell me about my siblings' lives, my father would reciprocate with revelations about my mother and my mother about my father. I obviously knew as well that information I shared with any one of them was also shared with the rest of the group. And up to a certain point, it was all "normal", it was actually expected. And so, like a garden of interconnected lives, we stumbled through our days, not realizing the confusion it created in our minds.


In my innocence, I grew up believing that being privy to every detail was my right, even a privilege. I would meddle and poke into everyone's business, often finding myself getting offended if excluded from a conversation or triggering my inner gossip-hungry teenager. Little did I know, it was a recipe for disaster.


Over time, as I stepped into adulthood, I carried this habit into other relationships-romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and even strangers. The compulsion of wanting to know it all and to interfere if given a chance, when I had no right to do so became second nature. Unsolicited advice flowed like a river, sometimes drowning the very essence of meaningful connections.


Yet, as life often does, it led me to moments of introspection and self-reflection, or to therapy sessions 🫣. I recognized the negative feelings that arose after such conversations and the negative thought patterns that were born from all the poking, and the realization hit me like a thunderbolt-I needed to set myself free.


Embracing self-awareness became my lifeline. I navigated through the difficult moments, armed with the knowledge that I was not alone in my struggles. I learned to recognize the signs of my intrusive habits and redirect my focus toward self-compassion and personal growth.


Like a mariner setting sail in uncharted waters, I set forth on a journey to discover my true self. I decided to respect boundaries and not impose my judgment on others. I created the space for privacy and found peace in knowing that I didn't need to know every detail to care deeply for someone.


The process wasn't easy; it was like tending to a wild garden of tangled thoughts and habits. But with each nurturing touch, I found my peace, boundaries, and respect blooming like vibrant flowers in the spring. The weight of the world's worries began to lift, and I finally tasted the sweetness of personal growth.


Through my own metamorphosis, I discovered that personal growth and self-discovery are universal journeys. We are all learning to navigate through the tides of life, embracing the storms and basking in the sunlight of newfound wisdom. And part of that personal growth involves setting boundaries even for our loved ones. Boundaries that in the end are for the benefit of everyone.


Of course, as a child I didn't know how to address it, but now, when someone wants to tell me something about someone else, I simply stop them and ask:


That which you're about to tell me, will it benefit me in any way or make me feel good?
If the answer is no, please don't tell me.
That which you want to share with me about someone else, will it benefit them in any way or make that person feel better?
If the answer is no, please don't tell me.

Oh, the allure of being the all-knowing sage, offering unsolicited advice like a fortune-teller peering into a crystal ball! It's a tempting role to play, especially when we genuinely care for those around us. Yet, just as the crystal ball can deceive with its hazy visions, so can our good intentions lead us astray when we pry into matters that don't concern us.


There are moments when the universe seems to conspire, teasing us with opportunities to dive headfirst into someone else's business. It's as if life places a signpost right before us, beckoning, "Here lies juicy gossip-your chance to be in the know!" But wisdom whispers in our ears, reminding us that true closeness is built on the foundation of trust, not on the shifting sands of unwarranted interference.


And so, we must master the skill of knowing when to step back and mind our own business. Picture it as a grand performance-our masterpiece-in which we dance the fine line between showing genuine concern and knowing when to holster our advice like a well-worn joke.


Oh, how challenging it can be! Like a clown performing a tightrope act, we tiptoe between respecting boundaries and the temptation to meddle. We must learn to hold our tongues and resist the urge to be the hero, swooping in with our unsolicited solutions.


Yes, there are times when our desire to help can overwhelm our better judgment, like a troupe of actors attempting to steal the spotlight. But we must learn to take a step back and embrace the awkward silence, for within it lies the profound truth that sometimes the most caring action is non-action.


As we grow in this art, the fine art of not poking our nose where it does belong, we unlock the doors to authentic connections and forge deeper bonds. Like a comedian who knows when to pause for laughter, we discover the power of silence in nurturing the trust and intimacy that underpins genuine relationships.


So, let us embrace the quirkiness of our humanity and our propensity to stumble in our quest to know it all. Let us laugh at ourselves when we inadvertently slip into the role of meddler or gossip-monger, for it is in embracing our imperfections that we find the strength to grow.


Let us recognize that there's beauty in the delicate threads of restraint and self-awareness. Let us celebrate the art of not poking our noses where they do belong, and in doing so, let us dance gracefully through life's intricate choreography, respecting boundaries, and cherishing the irreplaceable trust we earn along the way.


So, dear reader, if you find yourself entangled in the web of meddling and oversharing either as a victim or a perpetrator, know that you are not alone. Embrace the power of self-awareness, set yourself free from the burden of unnecessary information, and savor the beauty of respecting boundaries.


Let us embark together on this fine art of not poking our noses where they do belong. Let us nurture our own gardens and cultivate understanding, empathy, and compassion for one another. As we do, we'll find that the journey is as rewarding as the destination itself.


Without further ado, I bid you farewell with a friendly Shalom 🙌🏻


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